Hollywood Five-O Flashback

More Scenes From July 1952

Old Golds

"We don't jockey around with medical claims... If you want a TREAT instead of a TREATMENT smoke Old Golds."

Compulsive gambling and nicotine addiction get a sunny salute from this growth-stunted jockey at Santa Anita Park. Mystery respiratory problems vexing you smokers? Maybe with those other brands, but not ours. But don't take our word for it:

"This conclusion was established on evidence by the United States Government."

Sounds good to me, Uncle Sam, and don't worry - I got you down for a sawbuck on "Granny's Bloomers" in the sixth.

Lockheed Aircraft Corporation

"Faster than a cup of coffee, Lockheed Starfires destroy an air invader," proclaims this celebration of high altitude, remote control combat.

"A Lockheed F-94C can take off from a cold start, climb 7 miles in any weather, locate enemy bomber automatically, destroy the invader, without ever seeing it."

That's right, Bobby and Sally, commie bombers eliminated, no messy spills and nothing to clean up. Just the rich aroma of the fresh coffee back at the hangar. Everything's rosy until nearly overnight ICBMs and sub-launchers pulled the plug on this proto-Missile Defense fantasy for a fancy new gimmick: Mutual Assured Destruction.

Think 50 years have changed everything? Take your browser to today's Washington Post online. While you read about the latest hits and misses in U.S. foreign policy, the ad banner pops up for an F-22 jet fighter over a desert backdrop. The sternly justified suits of Lockheed-Martin/Boeing/Pratt & Whitney inform us the "Raptor" exists "To Preserve, Protect & Defend The Constitution. All In Favor Of Air Dominance Say 'Aye.'"

If you say so. Let's just hope our pilots overseas do a better job than the ones at the local air shows.

Schlitz

"The beer that made Milwaukee famous"

"A couple of friends. An outboard motor. Some inboard Schlitz." Drunken adventures in boating, you say? Hell yes, we say. Practicing through WWII helped America hold its alcohol. Drunken grandmas were piloting 3,000 lb road boats steady as a plow line. A day on the lake? No problem. Plus you knew you could count on "satisfying Schlitz holding together the contentment cycle," say the suits on Madison Avenue, channeling some kind of New Age ad babble a full 20 years ahead of its time. One thing we do know, a case of Schlitz the night before guarantees a painful case of the Schlitz in the morning. Not to take away from its "gusto," but let's hear it for the most unfortunately named beer of all time.

Shell X-100 Motor Oil

Speaking of time travel, what to make of this reverse engineered tribute to bad-trip psychedelia?

"Your engine makes this much Acid every day," warn the suits at Shell, sending a rainbow colored gremlin with a bubbling beaker to menace a helpless V-8. Actually at that moment it was Sandoz Labs in Switzerland that was passing around the beakers of acid. In fact, a postcard and a few pennies of postage with a doctor's letterhead would return you gratis a courtesy sample of a few thousand laboratory doses of pure LSD. Odd times, the Fifties.

"Hourglass on the Beach"

This Life feature on scanty swimwear assures us that "the bikini, a style rejected in America, is enjoying a revival in France." It's buried on page 71, but you can bet that didn't prevent it from being hidden from the kids (and dad) by watchful moms across the nation.

Even new shots of nuclear tests levelling Nevada ghost towns can't compete with America's other burgeoning atomic superpower: popular sexuality. Waiting in the wings that month? High school trucker Elvis Presley and aspiring cartoonist Hugh Hefner.